(10) "Self-blaming and Blaming Others"
Much of what happened in the world is not our fault, but we sometimes blame ourselves for things that are beyond our control. It's a self-defeating way of thinking.
"I'm not a good mother," one mother told herself after learning her child was struggling in school. She thus cannot try to find out the cause of the problem and help her child.
When a wife suffers domestic violence, she tells herself, "It's all because I'm not pretty enough."
Blaming yourself for causes outside your control can lead to guilt, shame, and feelings of inadequacy.
Likewise, blaming others do not help either.
It needs to be emphasised that sometimes we can turn our back and blame other people or circumstances for our problems too, ignoring that we are also part of the problem: "My marriage is so bad because my partner is unreasonable." Blame others don't usually work well because other people hate being the scapegoat, and they'll push the blame back on you. It's like the hot potato game - no one wants to be stuck with it.
So we have to get rid of "self-blame" or "blame others", and focus on how to solve the problem.
A "self-defeating" mindset is a defect in human brains. We must recognise them and get rid of them immediately. Your life will be different and you will succeed more easily than others.
Master this technique, and you'll love yourself better, exercise self-control more easily, and achieve more of your goals.
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Master the secret to success now- Throw Away the Self-defeating Mindset
All posts under this topic:
(1) "Black and White" https://www.overcome.vip/post/master-the-secret-to-success-now-throw-away-the-self-defeating-mindset-1
(2) “Overgeneralisation” https://www.overcome.vip/post/master-the-secret-to-success-now-2-throw-away-the-self-defeating-mindset
(3) "Emotional Immersion" https://www.overcome.vip/post/master-the-secret-to-success-now-3-throw-away-the-self-defeating-mindset
(4) "Discounting the Positive" https://www.overcome.vip/post/master-the-secret-to-success-now-4-throw-away-the-self-defeating-mindset
(5) "Jumping to conclusions" https://www.overcome.vip/post/master-the-secret-to-success-now-5-throw-away-the-self-defeating-mindset
(6) “Magnification” https://www.overcome.vip/post/master-the-secret-to-success-now-6-throw-away-the-self-defeating-mindset
(7) "Emotional Reasoning" https://www.overcome.vip/post/master-the-secret-to-success-now-7-throw-away-the-self-defeating-mindset
(8) "Should Statement" https://www.overcome.vip/post/master-the-secret-to-success-now-9-throw-away-the-self-defeating-mindset
(9) "Labelling" https://www.overcome.vip/post/master-the-secret-to-success-now-9-throw-away-the-self-defeating-mindset-1
(10) "Self-blaming and Blaming Others" https://www.overcome.vip/post/master-the-secret-to-success-now-10-throw-away-the-self-defeating-mindset
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