top of page

Self-defeating Mindset (8) "Should Statement"



(8) "Should Statement" "Should statement" is when you tell yourself that things "should" or “shouldn’t” happen the way you want.


For example, a pianist said to himself after a performance, "I shouldn't have made so many mistakes." In this self-defeating way of thinking, he didn't practise playing for the next few days.


That's because self-defeating thinking about "should" or “shouldn’t” can lead to "guilt" and "depression." If you tell people what they "should" do, it will only lead to anger. For example, "You should quit smoking" or "You shouldn't be so stubborn."


Many people try to motivate themselves with shoulds and shouldn'ts. This is ineffective, or even counterproductive in the long run. Because you see yourself as a bad person, you first blame yourself and punish yourself psychologically before you can do good.


Have you ever experienced that you tell yourself "I shouldn't eat bread and butter." But it usually doesn't work, this "should statement" or "should not statement" makes you very rebellious, and then you will impulsively “Do it in Reverse” and eat the whole brioche in one sitting.


This self-defeating way of thinking is not obvious because most people do it. But calm down and think about it, there is no good effect in doing so. It leads you to do exactly the opposite. If you say "I should" do something, you tend not to do it and will deliberately do the opposite, and if you say "I should not" do something, you tend to do it instead.


What we need to do is stop using statements and commands like "I should" and "I shouldn't" to ourselves.


A "self-defeating" mindset is a defect in human brains. We must recognise them and get rid of them immediately. Your life will be different and you will succeed more easily than others.

Master this technique, and you'll love yourself better, exercise self-control more easily, and achieve more of your goals.


Subscribe to us now, and continue to receive the series of articles on "Abandoning the Self-defeating Way of Thinking". Only by caring for yourself can you succeed.


Contact us to know more. Subscribe to us to receive updates and news about us.


Master the secret to success now- Throw Away the Self-defeating Mindset

All posts under this topic:



Overcome provides CTAA accredited remote and tailored advice on solving mental health related problems in a few efficient and effective sessions with unbeatable strategies to give you an unfair advantage in life that can benefit you for all your life with 98% success rate. (Depression, Anxiety, Stress, Mental Health, Therapy)


bottom of page