(8) "Should Statement" "Should statement" is when you tell yourself that things "should" or “shouldn’t” happen the way you want.
For example, a pianist said to himself after a performance, "I shouldn't have made so many mistakes." In this self-defeating way of thinking, he didn't practise playing for the next few days.
That's because self-defeating thinking about "should" or “shouldn’t” can lead to "guilt" and "depression." If you tell people what they "should" do, it will only lead to anger. For example, "You should quit smoking" or "You shouldn't be so stubborn."
Many people try to motivate themselves with shoulds and shouldn'ts. This is ineffective, or even counterproductive in the long run. Because you see yourself as a bad person, you first blame yourself and punish yourself psychologically before you can do good.
Have you ever experienced that you tell yourself "I shouldn't eat bread and butter." But it usually doesn't work, this "should statement" or "should not statement" makes you very rebellious, and then you will impulsively “Do it in Reverse” and eat the whole brioche in one sitting.
This self-defeating way of thinking is not obvious because most people do it. But calm down and think about it, there is no good effect in doing so. It leads you to do exactly the opposite. If you say "I should" do something, you tend not to do it and will deliberately do the opposite, and if you say "I should not" do something, you tend to do it instead.
What we need to do is stop using statements and commands like "I should" and "I shouldn't" to ourselves.
A "self-defeating" mindset is a defect in human brains. We must recognise them and get rid of them immediately. Your life will be different and you will succeed more easily than others.
Master this technique, and you'll love yourself better, exercise self-control more easily, and achieve more of your goals.
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Master the secret to success now- Throw Away the Self-defeating Mindset
All posts under this topic:
(3) "Emotional Immersion" https://www.overcome.vip/post/master-the-secret-to-success-now-3-throw-away-the-self-defeating-mindset
(4) "Discounting the Positive" https://www.overcome.vip/post/master-the-secret-to-success-now-4-throw-away-the-self-defeating-mindset
(5) "Jumping to conclusions" https://www.overcome.vip/post/master-the-secret-to-success-now-5-throw-away-the-self-defeating-mindset
(7) "Emotional Reasoning" https://www.overcome.vip/post/master-the-secret-to-success-now-7-throw-away-the-self-defeating-mindset
(10) "Self-blaming and Blaming Others" https://www.overcome.vip/post/master-the-secret-to-success-now-10-throw-away-the-self-defeating-mindset
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